..It was the third quarter, close to a blowout. We were going to win. But I liked blowouts. They seemed funny to me. I watched the next play intently as the quarterback dropped back to pass. He threw it quick and deep down the field. The crowd cheered as the defensive back intercepted the ball."Welcome to Sports Center, bitch!" I heckled as loud as I could, laughing. "Who were you throwing it to?"I looked back to the top of the stairs, and I see a familiar face. She waved. All of a sudden, I had a big, stupid grin on my face. It was her. My crush from the eighth grade. It was early in the season, so it was still warm out. She was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, showing off her long chocolate legs of hers that I remembered. She still looked the same, only I remembered there was something different about her. Something womanly."Hey, Chad!" Hey, what's up?" I said, genuinely happy to see her. We hugged. I smelled her scent deeply. That was the first time I hugged her."This is my. I hadn’t bothered to go to the final court hearing and my attorney told me she hadn’t either. We hadn’t seen each other for a very long time. I was caught off guard by the fact she could still make my pulse race. I could recall exactly what it was that she’d done to me. That was never in doubt. I could summon vivid images and bring them into sharp focus. For a long time, I’d kept the printouts of the pictures I’d taken that night but I’d shredded them when I left for Afghanistan. I remembered the sense of relief and satisfaction I’d felt when they’d become just scraps in the bottom of a plastic canister beneath the shredder. But when I reached for the anger I’d felt back when I first found out about Sherrie’s infidelity, when I tried to touch the deep pain and sense of loss, I could find only the remembrance of them, not the rage and hurt themselves. I was astonished at myself. I wondered why I no longer felt the pain but I couldn’t hit upon an explanation that satisfied me. I knew.
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